Reconnecting to your own power as a leader, with Adriana Caliri

Apparently I had everything I wanted in my life because I had a good job, I had a good family I had a beautiful white house, a lot of friends, and everything but inside I felt really empty and that was a moment that I met an executive coach, leadership coach and in that exact moment I said, one day I’m gonna do what she does

Welcome to Who Cares About My Story? The podcast on how sharing your personal brand story can impact your business.
We will explore the perks and also the behind-the-scenes challenges of figuring out what to share.
I’m your host, Reme Mancera, a personal brand strategist who loves finding the Story Connectors that illustrate the benefits of what you offer.

And by the way, you don’t need a Hollywood tale for that.
In case you ever wonder, remember, your story is relevant and worth telling!

Welcome to Who Cares About My Story?
I am so delighted to have you here, Adriana. Welcome to this podcast and thank you for accepting this invitation.
Well, hello Reme I’m very very excited to be here with you and spending some time talking together.
Nice, so let’s start by sharing a bit about who you are and what you do.
Yeah!
Well I’m Adriana, I live in the south of Spain in front of Morocco.
I’m lucky enough to have the sea in front of my office and yes I’m a leadership coach, it’s five years that I’ve been coaching people all around the world.
I say I coach leaders because I think that leaders are people that take seriously their own evolution, their fulfillment and joy in life.
So this is what I like doing and I work with like a big company but also with young people that really want to have a very fulfilled, joyful life and meaningful for whatever success takes for them.

Nice, so can you share a bit about your story.
How did you get involved into leadership coaching?
Yes, so I was born in Italy and well I was born from my father that always show me that impossible didn’t exist.
His dream was to work for Ferrari in Formula One and he managed to do that, as a very young age.
So for me life was about achieving any dreams you might have had and so I tried really everything that excited me but above all something that above all in the beginning was maybe giving me back a bit of admiration, appreciation for people that I love the most, in that way I started really a career in the fashion world, first in Max Mara and then I started I’ve been…
I’ve been hired in Nike in Italy and I started my career there.
That was a career of 23 years but there was a moment in my life where I was moved from Holland from Nike Holland to Nike US that…
apparently I had everything I wanted in my life because I had a good job, I had a good family I had a beautiful white house, a lot of friends, and everything but inside I felt really empty, I felt not enough.
I felt I had to prove, I felt I have to fight every single day and that was a moment that I met an executive coach, leadership coach and in that exact moment I said…
one day I’m gonna do what she does because she literally helped me to see life from a different perspective and to embrace the success and fulfillment so much, but with more ease and that’s what really inspired me to do that, so I continue to work in the company for another ten years, coaching people there and then eventually I left and I opened my business.

Beautiful because we have worked together I know like more details about these and how has been all the journey so I feel like this really inspiring how in that moment you saw like yeah I want to do this someday and actually you get to do that exactly in the same place that you receive that coaching from her, right?
Yes, it’s really incredible I really believe that when we see something that we admire so much in another person most of the time we just see ourselves, we see a part of ourselves that has not bloomed yet and that was for me and that is for everyone of us so when we see something that we really admire, the reality is that there is probably a part of us that does not really that is not developed yet, or we believe that we don’t have.
So, looking inside it’s always the first step to really step into our power.

Yeah.
Okay.
So…
how do you think sharing your story has impacted your business?
Well, in general, I think that, well I come from 23 years in Nike, so Nike is absolutely one of the best company in terms of storytelling and the reality of storytelling is that, when we tell our story, we really open the door for people to listen to us.
Above all, when we are in our story, we are in our story with our emotions.
Not just really we try to explain things, but we share things and as human being we want to listen, we don’t want to be told or said what to do.
We just want to hear what is around us and understand what can be connected to our own story, to the things that really matter for us and so this is it for me, sharing the story it’s really opening the door for people to listen to something that maybe can be important for them.

Beautiful.
So, and I know that for you like people that you work with they highlight how…
when they work with you they feel seen and they feel that you are kind of holding a mirror for them to see their own potential that sometimes they are not able to see at the beginning of working with you.
I wanted to ask you, do you feel that sharing your story is also a way for you to allow them to see you and see the context of who is behind this person helping them?
Absolutely, absolutely again like I really believe above all in coaching we are at the exactly at the same level.
So the more we can, share the human behind any kind of job we do, and the more… it’s easier that people can understand any kind of concept or again can take advantage of anything we share for them for their life.

So, do you remember a specific moment when someone… the feedback of someone make you realize how important was that you have told your own story?
Yeah, I think at the beginning when we were creating also all this workshop… for people, for different groups either they were younger or they were executive in companies, we had really quite a long agenda and we always ended up cutting the agenda in half and just really working and presenting just a part of the subject we wanted to present in that day and the reason why was that at the beginning we always were opening up with, with my story and people were asking so many questions and then we realized that probably the story can become and is one of the most important part of any kind of proposal and interaction and so we shifted completely our offer also and our presentation or our workshops, where the stories and my stories had a bigger space or better, bigger space for people to ask and you know in the end like it was the same also for me when I was younger I was asking so many questions think about kids, they always ask question and question, after question and more than asking how… how do you do these things or how certain things need to be done, what was very important for me it was always like what was your experience?
and i’m talking about like either being a mom or being a… a young business woman in a very masculine driven company, or being successful abroad or having a husband that doesn’t work and being the only one bringing actually the economics at home, like so many things so it was not really just to read a book where there was the ABC on how to do something because that doesn’t really click in people and it didn’t click in me, but the luxury to have somebody that went already in that path and ask, so how was you?
it doesn’t mean that the person need to do the exactly same things, but these can really open up to question, open up to possibilities, open up to ideas that maybe without a story you don’t even think about.

Yeah, yeah I feel that too and I know that you work with the leaders in like in corporate and so on, and I feel because you have been there you really know that environment, and I know that you use this idea of knowing the game and it’s like you sharing your stories also is a way for them to see how you really understand.
And it’s not that you know the tools and the techniques and the things to help them, you also have the background to understand the environment, that they are playing in, right?
Yeah, that’s absolutely right I mean, we work out the methodology that is called the WINGS Way the way to reconnect to your own power and the first pillar it’s really like find your wings, we believe that everyone has wings.
This incredible power that it is really unique to each of us.
But the second pillar is like learn the game, because I really believe that in any environment that you might be in either you are an entrepreneur or you are in a big company, there are always some rule of the game that means like something you cannot control, because if you start imagining that you are participating a game and that you can win and you can have fun, still you need to understand which are the rules, which are the things you cannot control and so you don’t really spend time and energy fighting those rules, wanted to change the rules, because it’s not our job to change the rule.
Our job is to win within… that set of rules.
And so the rules at the end can be like politics in companies, so they can be dynamics, power dynamics.
So of course we can say this is not fair and it’s true like big corporate they are absolutely not fair but we can still win and winning it’s very personal to each person.
Winning is like how do you want to transform the environment around you and starting from yourself and then the people around you, and whatever it’s important for you, you can do it even in a big company if you keep in mind that that’s just a game, but within the game you can win by transforming, by doing things that is very meaningful for you.

Yeah, it’s like you know, even for breaking the rules, you need to know the rules so it’s like a learning about that environment and being able to know what is… what is there for you to be able to to expand or to explore, but first you need to really understand what are you playing.
Yes, yes you know, like when I was in Nike, like breaking the rules was really their thing, no?
Breaking the rule was very important, because then at the end if you think about what was meaningful for Nike was actually to be seen, and so for example by putting like… some shoes at Wimbledon, for Roger Federer would like, the sole that was orange in a way was breaking the rule, but the reality was a clarity about what Nike wanted, they wanted the entire world to look at them.
And so by doing that, yes there was a breaking the rule with consequences of a big fine but paying a big fine was part of the game that Nike wanted to play.
So, clarity I think it’s very very important.
The problem come when we think that we want to break some rules just because they are not fair, and then we put all our energy there but then, at the end that the system kick us out and when we are out from the system we cannot impact anything.

Yeah and I feel this is connected to your idea of the potential, no?
like what is your potential and how to go with your wings, finding your wings and then exploring all the possibilities that what you can do.
Yeah.
Again, I think it’s very very important to be clear what is our, our role and what we want to do and not really to spend energy in something that it’s not our, I mean if we work for another company it’s not our… our job to create the rule.
I mean, as simple as that.
We can create the rule, if we want to create a different company but if we want to stay in that company, we need to respect those rule and still doing meaningful work.
And that is possible because I really believe that you can climb the ladder and in the meantime being the person you want to be.

Yeah.
I think that the big things that people sometimes they think that they need to sell their soul to the devil in order actually to climb the ladder and it’s absolutely not like that because maybe you can do it but then it’s very stressful and hard and absolutely not fulfilling.

Yeah and connecting to this idea of the meaningful work I know that this is something key to the way that you approach the work that you do, on how you help others, is like… how for you like that finding your meaningful work something meaningful to you how do you think sharing your story is helping convey that idea of how meaningful is for you the work that you do?
You know like I really believe that we all came in this world with a set of tools and I call them our wings, you know our mix of talents, passion and values that are very unique to us and sometimes we see other people wings and not our because we always compare ourselves to others and so we lose a bit of power by doing that, but because we’ve been gifted with this incredible power the moment to start accessing to it we also are on purpose, on purpose it means like to use, to fly, to use our wings because when we use our inner power we give the big gift to do this work.
We inspire other people to find their unique purpose and power and we support people in a way that is really very natural to us and is, so I really believe that every time we are fighting something that’s not our path our path… it’s really flow.
Flow and flowing so for me for example when I coach I’m really feel center, I’m really feel at ease.
Because I’m there with all myself, with all my wise and I try to access everything I need because every person in front of me needs something different in order to switch on their light and I don’t switch on their light I just try to keep my light switch on in order for them to find their.

Yeah, that’s a really nice approach where you are empowering them, it’s not that you are the one doing the thing for them but helping to find their way to do that, so that’s beautiful.
Yeah, I really believe that at the end like we’re not really… everyone has their own time to find their own potential to let go some of limiting beliefs and so on.
The only things we can do is to be ourselves and… actually leave the space for people, to do the journey, while we’re doing our.

Yeah.
Okay, so you know the name of the podcast is Who Cares About My Story?
So, what would you say to someone that is wondering that, who will care about their story?
I really believe, again like that we are a mirror of each other, so, sometimes I heard even people saying like… oh maybe you’re telling too much about yourself or other people say, well who cares about like my stories and so on.
And I think that already there, there is a gift like when we think something like that there is already a gift there that means that we are not seeing our story.
We are not really value our story so if we don’t value our story, how can we think that other people can do that?
how can we think that people can see us?
So, I think the first step it’s not about telling our story, the first step is to see our story it’s to be compassion towards ourselves it’s to really be and fall in love for every single part of our story, of ourselves and to see if there is a part of us or a part of our story that still hold us back with some shame or guilt and so after we’ve done that work, that is the moment actually to share that story.
Because if we don’t really tell something that means that the story is still on us.
The fear, the shame the moment actually we’ve forgiven ourselves, the moment that we really really connected to ourselves, then that is the moment that we just want to share our story, because the story doesn’t really hold that pain anymore, doesn’t hold that shame anymore.
And we know that our story can help somebody else, so I think the work is very internal before appearing external.

I tell you like for example I’ve been with bulimia for like probably twenty five years,no?
so that was a very hidden, eating disorder, nobody could see I was already this successful, business woman, flying all around the world, working with like a very famous athletes and everything.
Everyone being jealous about my life and my work but instead I was still with like this incredible and mean disease that is bulimia that nobody was seeing.
So the moment that I could really start telling this story, was the moment that I completely managed to heal myself from this.
managed to heal myself from this I would have never been able to tell my story if I still was… was actually not forgiving myself about that or not giving myself the permission to get out from the gate once forever, and sometimes we can even tell our story when we are still going through that but because we started to see the light, we started to see actually the power and the gift that the story has for us.

Yeah, I feel that it’s different for different people but something that I have seen overall is how when you are sharing that part of your story is like somehow that’s something good for you as well, like sharing that is something good either because it’s part of the process of getting over it or either it because it’s over and then now you are ready to share your experience and somehow inspire or help others so yeah I feel like it’s not just in the case of personal brand story is not just helpful for your business, for your audience but also for yourself to understand the context of why you do what you do and why you are interested in working with a certain group of people and how you are connected to them and so on.
Absolutely.

Nice.
I wanted to ask you when you were deciding what to share and what not, at some point you decided to go to help, to work on your stories, and we have worked together on your personal brand story, I am curious to know about what made you do that, like decide to go and get help in shaping how you share your stories?
I think that… your gifted again it’s really that it’s that you help people to translate the story in a language that is a bit like more more easy to understand, for a diverse audience and so on.
Sometimes we can have something very clear in our mind but when we start talking specifically with you that you are very good in this, we realize that maybe there is a part of our story that we don’t really value that much, we don’t think that is particular or can benefit other people and you see something and then working together we can really package in a way that can support other people even more, and can become even more clear.

Yeah, I feel that this something that even for myself my own story, getting someone to help me to go through that is it helpful because we are so in our own narratives and that, that we don’t see we sometimes overlook certain things and from outside is like yeah that actually give a lot of context about who you are and how you are in the world.
Absolutely.

Yeah, so… for a lot of people that might be listening to this they are somehow navigating a transition in their business so they are somehow changing, how they position themselves or the type of work that they are doing, and they feel this lack of clarity you have been going through some big transitions through your journey, So, can you tell us about your own experience of deciding how you communicate those changes to the people that are maybe in your audience or people that know about what you do.
So, the question is about really how you communicate your changes to people?
I think it’s important to understand why, why do you want to communicate the changes to people?
I think Reme, I think everything start inside.
When we are clear about what is the message we want to give and why we want to give that message everything is much easier, everything is much easier.
For that reason I think like spending time and hold some space for us to listen to our intuition it’s always the starting point, now there are so many podcasts that there are with social media, we can have like hundred and hundred of very knowledgeable people telling us what’s the right things to do exactly in this moment, but the point is that if we listen outside before listening inside it’s really a mess, we have also artificial intelligence now and if we start using this tool before asking ourselves the question then it’s really a nightmare.
So, even in this case how we want to share our story I think the first step is always to hold space, to ask questions to ourselves.
You are very good by sending a questionnaire, I created a book where for ninety day people they ask themselves some different question in order actually to get into their power and purpose because when you are connected to your power and purpose everything becomes so much clear and easy, even to tell your story.
Because your why is what driving and not the how.

Yeah yeah, hundred percent when you have clarity why you are doing something everything is like, the clarity will be easier to find, I agree in that.

Ok, so I like to do a question to all my guest and is like what part of your personal brand story surprises people the most?
Maybe it was really bad when I was really working in tennis and I was really every single month traveling around the world going to slam and I was very passionate about tennis and so on, and I have this like beautiful life in the US and I was promoted and so also from a company point of view I was really in a very good level and the company was keep on promoting me but still… there was a voice inside of me that was saying what if you open your own company, what if you leave the company Nike and US and you really believe… together with my husband by the way, to your company, to something that you want for you, to do for you where you can actually set the rule of the game and where you can really say yes or no to some work, and so probably that was the moment when some people were saying like but why did you leave in that moment, but you know sometimes leaving is much easier than staying because that intuition is so clear.

Yeah and it’s like I feel like this connecting back to the beginning like the idea of all the possibilities and thinking that you have possibilities to do things so, I feel that.
That is a powerful question like they what if is such a powerful question to consider like is opening all the doors of different possibilities.
Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, I don’t know if there is any message or important yeah question that we haven’t covered and it’s something that you feel is important for the listener to consider and a message that is important for you to share with them?
Maybe, I mean I think one thing that is very important that like whoever is listening, being really aware that wherever they are, whatever they feel, they are just in the right place and they are right, in the right place and that they have everything they need in order actually to open the door to even more possibilities or step into a chapter of their life where they feel even more confident and where they really attract more abundance.
It’s just important that with just this belief they can start looking for those resources inside of them or asking the right question to the right people that can support them, but without that belief then it’s really difficult to take any step in order actually to evolve, and then believe in something that we can put in our mind.
and so again like holding space for… some questions and some care, I think it’s very very important in any time in our life.

Thank you!
thank you so much for this insight and for people that are curious to learn more about you and your work I know that you are releasing at the moment of this recording and this piece of work that will help them to also do this internal work so, how they can learn more about you?
Well, we have a group of young women that are helping me with my social media so we are posting every week @coach.adry with the Y, and then in Linkedin also Adriana Caliri, we post several things, or in the website.
I mean, you can write it down.
Yeah, I will… I will add the links.
Yes!

So thank you so much for this has been lovely to have you, and having this conversation I’m really grateful for… yeah for the work that you have done in the past and for having you here sharing your thoughts and your inside and I feel that this is really inspiring for people to listen to that idea of how you can find your wings.
So, thank you for that.
Thank you very much to you and thank you very much for the incredible work you are doing to support like a lot of people, to really share their story, or have the benefit of themselves and others.
Thank you!

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